I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
