he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
