Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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