i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize