My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
