Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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