I don't think brook has ever known best
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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