when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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