SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
