ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize