i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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