ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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