If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
