Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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