you guys were way drunker than both of me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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