what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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