I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
