On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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