I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
love makes seman taste better
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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