Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
