You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
