i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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