Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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