Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if only i could text you this smell
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
