so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
