I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
