Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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