i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
