Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
