i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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