i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
