I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
