dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
