Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
