You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
