so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
