Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
