fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
