everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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