Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize