shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize