Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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