laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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