made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
