He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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