well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
