Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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