sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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