wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im holly from the hills drunk
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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