just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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