CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
not ubering you a puppy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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