god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
