btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
