i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
